Titbits---V

1)Dear Reader,What do U make of this Announcement Over the Microphone in a Railway Station?

ANNOUNCEMENT--- The Departure time of The Hoiday Express bound for Mumbai Is changed from TWOTWO TO TWOTOTWO.

Means To Read---From Two Minutes past Two to Two Minutes To Two.

2)Dear Reader Can U Punctuate the following sentence?

Rama where Krishna had (Repeat 'had' eleven Times)the teacher's approval.

The above sentence will then read as follows----

Rama where Krishna had had had had had had had had had had had the teacher's approval

Answer-- Rama,where Krishna had had 'had',had had 'had had'.'had had' had had the teacher's approval.

Dear Reader,U still find this difficult to understand? Don't feel sorry.Use of the word 'had had' together is a typical example of Past Perfect,which was in vogue in the written English communication during the Elizabathen age in England and elsewhere in English speaking countries and is almost extinct in the present day Fnglish communication.

3)Dear Reader,A Simple Quiz to Tax Your Brain
There was once a Prison having Two Doors,One Door leading to Freedom and the other Door leading to Death.These Two Doors were guarded by Two Guards,One of whom always spoke the Truth and the Other always Lied.
In this Prison there was a Prisoner who was aware of above but did not know which door led to Freedom or which door to Death and for that matter which Guard spoke the Truth or which one Lied.
The Prisoner was allowed to ask one Question to either of the Two Guards.He asked the Question and from his answer went out the Door Of Freedom.What Question Did He Ask?

Answer--- The Prisoner went to one of the Two Guards and asked him "If I were To Ask The Other Guard Which Door Leads To Freedom,What Will He Answer?Whichever Door the Guard showed,the Prisoner got out of the opposite Door.


Explanation---Let us assume for a moment the Guard whom The Prisoner approached was the one speaking the truth.In this case He will tell exactly what the other guard would show and since by elimination the other one must be telling a lie,the opposite Door would be the one leading to freedom.
In the same breath let us now assume the Guard whom the Prisoner approached was the one who lied.In this case he will twist what the other Guard would say.As such if the guard whom the prisoner approached shows a specific door,the other guard,who by elimination would be speaking the truth would in fact have shown the opposite Door as the Door of Freedom which would have been twisted by the guard approached by the Prisoner.
As such whichever Door is shown as the Door leading to Freedom by the Guard approached by the Prisoner,The Prisoner would get out of the opposite door.

Compiled By Baiyu December 2007.

Titbits IV

1)Never get worried over a problem because-----

a)Problems in Life are generally of Three kinds viz----
------------a1)Problems that can be solved.Hence no need to worry.
------------a2)Problems that cannot be solved.Hence no point in worrying.
------------a3)Problems that need not be solved.They may continue to remain as problems and yet life may go on.Hence no cause to worry.

In the light of above there is no need to worry over a problem.Get concerned YES.But Worry NO.

b)Besides if worrying over a problem can solve the problem,the whole world will be a world of Bliss because we all are worrying all the time.

Source ANONYMUS Compiled by BAIYU (Self)


2)Do you know how many stars are there in the sky?
I know---8k billion 23k million 47 thousand 785.
If you were to ask me how I know this,I can only say I have no doubts on the figure I have mentioned.If you have any doubts,you may go and count yourself.

Source ANONYMUS Compiled by BAIYU (self)

3)What is the Time when a Clock strikes Thirteen?
Answer--- Tis time to discard the Clock.

4)A team of four Archeologists were digging the ground in search of old and ancient coins when one of the members of the team struck a coin which indeed looked very old with the prints on the coin barely visible.When after repeated washing and cleaning, one member in the team identified the date of print on the coin as 47BC the leader of the team cheked it himself and did infact find the date on the coin printed as 47BC.While the rest of the group got excited on this finding,the leader of the team was not much impressed and said it was a fake coin.Why did the leader say it was a fake coin?

Answer---How could BC be printed?Any date related to the birth of Jesus can only be printed post his birth and not prior to his birth.In other words any date related to Jesus can only be found printed in AD and never in BC.
On the leader of the team explaining this logic, the rest in the group discarded this coin and proceeded with the work on excavation.

Source Anonymus Compiled by BAIYU

How to take leave in a work place?

This relates to the period 1969-'70,when I was posted in the Garden Reach Factory in Calcutta(now called Kolkata) of what was then and probably still is one of the largest Multi Nationals in India engaged in the manufacturing and marketing of International brands of Soaps, Detergents and Toiletaries besides a host of other consumer products in Foods and hydrogenated oils and fats.I was indeed fortunate in my having had the rare opportunity of spending the formative days of my career in a highly professionally managed large company like the one referred to in this write up.How this exposure helped me to accelerate my own career growth in my later days as I moved out of this company to seek my fortunes elsewhere is another story that can be reserved for another day's reading.

Now for the moment coming back to 1969-70 era of my days in the Garden Reach factory in Calcutta,I had just moved to the Toiletaries division of the company after spending nearly a decade earlier in the Foods Division of the company in their plants at Ghaziabad (Near Delhi)and Etah (UP)after an initial induction in R&D in Bombay.My move to Garden Reach in Calcutta and subsequently back to Mumbai was a well planned movement adopted by the Corporate for its promising managers of the company for both job enrichment and career growth of the individual.In line with this practice I was moved to the Toileteries division of the Garden Reach plant reporting to one DR Pande,a thorough technocrat,highly commited and very knowledgeable with no Nonsense approach to work.The objective for me was to undergo training in manufacture of Transparent Soap besides products in Toiletaries range like Dental/hair cleansing/shaving Preparations/skin creams under the stewardship of Dr Pande and after working for sometime on these products at Garden Reach move to Bombay Factory alonwith DR Pande to duplicate the plant for these products in the Bombay factory and eventually take over the responsibility for routine nanufacturing of these products in Bombay.How many of the Indian companies undertake such career plannings for its managers?

One day during this period of my stay at Garden Reach I told a collegue of mine,Chaterjee by name (Real identity not revealed) that I need a day off the next day for some personal work and that I am feeling delicate to ask Dr Pande for leave
so soon after joining.My collegue interrupted me and asked me in Bengali, the local language,"Aare Khi Bolchi Thume?(Translated in English will read "Hai,What are you saying?Then realising he was speaking to me, a non Bengali,quickly corrected himself to speak in English and said---"You mean you want to tell Dr Pande today that you want leave for Tomorrow?How long have you been in this company so far?"When I told him "around 12 years or so",My friend said---"Still you do not know how to take leave?I will tell you.Whenever you want leave,no need to tell your boss the day before.The day you are not coming just telephone your boss to inform him of the same and give some reason for your absence.If he agrees,say thank you and put down the receiver.Instead if he asks you whether you can come for the afternoon session atleast,just sayHellow,Hellow over the phone and put down the receiver.Your message has reached him and he will think some problem in the telephone line".

I am sure the Reader would be interested to know whether I followed Chaterjee's advise.I am afraid I have to disappoint you.Much as I liked the humour part of my friend's advise,I was in no mood to practise it as it did not gel with my conscience Besides I felt no need to try it out as Dr Pande was quite willing to grant my request.As I settled down and we worked very closely in the coming days both at Garden Reach and later in Bombay he became my Guru and I confess whatever little I know in the fields of Transparent Soaps and Toiletaries I learned from him for which I am ever indebted to him.

As Dr Pande is no more I submit this writeup in the memory of the departed soul.May His Soul rest in peace.

With Malice To None

Twas sometime in the British summer of 2002,when my wife and myself were holidaying in London with our only son who had settled down in Surrey,a nearby suburb,with his wife and our two loving grand daughters, that I developed friendship with one Mychale,a regular visitor to the local library,where I used to spend a fair portion of my day's time.Unlike most other Britishers who are generally reserved and do not open up easily in conversing with strangers,Mychale was found an exception and finding much in common between the two of us in literary discussions we developed a relationship based on a mutual admiration.Unfortunately this friendship could not be sustained in my susequent visits to London as by then Mychale,as I was given to understand,had reached the Heavenly abode thro' an unfortunate road accident.

In memory of Mychale,who is no more,I wish to convey to all readers of Kavitanjali one specific incident that occured during my 2002 encounter with him that brought out the sporting spirit in him.While doing so thro this writeup under Light readings
I dedicate the same to the departed soul.This specific incidence was as follows---

While being summer one would expect bright sunshine in the day,particularly people like me coming from the Sub Continent,we had three continuous days without any sunlight and with overcast sky.As we were talking about weather the conversation that took place between the two of us was as follows-----

Mychale--- No sun at all since last three days in summer.It is not like this in UR part of the country.Or is it?
Myself---No Fortunately tis not so nor do we want it to be so.But Mychale Do you notice one Thing?
Mychale---What is it?
Myself----There was a time when one used to say that the SUN never sets in the British Empire.But it now appears it never rises here.

On hearing this,though momentarily stunned,knowing me as well as he did,he could see the humour behind my saying and burst into a loud laugh.This did cause in a few others sitting nearby to raise their eye brows.But when Mychale narrated this to them Quite needless to say that they also joined in our laughter.