An Extract From BOSWELL'S Letter To Johnson

When Boswell,then relatively unknown in the British Literary Circle,came out with his maiden edition of a book written by him,he approached Johnson,who was then well known in the Literary world,to write the preface for his publication.Johnson,who was proud of his standing in the Literary Circle,was reluctant to do so for a Newcomer and this deeply disappointed Boswell,who decided to come out on his own with his publication without being dependent on Johnson for the preface.Much to the amazement and Rejoice of Boswell,the maiden edition proved an instant success and within a very short time he found it necessary to come out with the second edition.


Johnson,this time, on his own, volunteered to write the preface.It was now Boswell's turn to decline Johnson's offer.How Boswell did this politely but firmly is the subject matter of his famous letter to Johnson Which is even to date considered a Master Piece in English Literature.
Given below is an extract of the relevent portion from this letter that Boswell wrote to Johnson.

QUOTE---- "Is not a patron ,my Lord,one who looks unconcerned when a man stuggles for life in water,and when the man reaches the shore,encumbers him with help?The notice which you have been pleased to take of my labour,had it been early would have been kind.But it has been delayed till I am indifferent and cannot enjoy it,till I am solitary and cannot exile it ,till I am known and do not want it.I hope it is no very cynical asperity not to confess obligation where no benefit has been received or unwilling to acknowledge help where none existed and where Providence had enabled me to do it myself"

Compiled By Baiyu

ROLES IN HEAVEN

System Installation--------------=BRAHMA

System Admn. And Support----------VISHNA

Finance And A/Cs Consultant-------LAKSHMI

Reserve Bank Of Heaven Governer---KUBER

Training And Knowledge Mgt.-------SARASWATI

DBA (Crash Specialist)-------------SHIVA

Q A And Documentation -------------GANESH

Data Transfer----------------------NARADA

Reorgn.And Downsizing Consultant---YAMA

IDP And Personal Records-----------CHITRAGUPTA

Down Loadable Viruses--------------APSARAS

Main Frame Programmers-------------DEVAS

Salaries Admn.---------------------SURYA

In House Hackers-------------------Rakshasas

Internet Explorer wwwf-------------RAVANA

Zombie Process---------------------KUMBAKARNA

Support Software And Back Up-------LAKSHMAN

Linux/S390-------------------------HANUMAN

MS Windows-------------------------VALI

DOS--------------------------------SUGRIVA

Fire Wall--------------------------JATAYU

Systems Programmer-----------------DHRONACHARYA

SR Manager Projects----------------VISHWAMITRA

Annual Appraisal And Promotion-----SHAKUNI

Technical Writer ------------------VALMIKI

SDLC(Sudharshan Wheel Dev.Life Cycle)---KRISHNA

ISO Consultant(CMM Levels)----------YUDHISTHIRA

Lead Programmer---------------------ARJUN

Leading From The Front To Fight Asuras-----INDRA

Trainee Programmer-------------------ABHIMANYU

Motivation And Team Building---------DRAUPATI

Main Frame Legacy System-------------BHIMA

Microsoft Product Written In Vb------DURYODHANA

Contract Programmes------------------KARNA

Visual C++ --------------------------DHRUTARASHTRA

Dream Weaver ------------------------GANDHARI

Micro Soft Service Packs &Patches CR---100 Kauravas

Other Roles W/O Portfolio ----REST OF CELESTIAL MEMBERS.


Source:Email Recd.From One LALITA SHREENIVAS.

Who Says ONE SHOULD NEVER TELL A LIE

This is a true story of what happened in my life sometime in early 60s when I was employed in the manufacturing plant of what was then perhaps the largest multinational in the then called city of BOMBAY (now called MUMBAI)in India. In this plant we had a large Dispensory with an attached CRECHE which was looked after by a team of Nurses headed by a senior Nurse named Mary(Original name not revealed) whom we all used to refer to as SISTER Mary and whom I used to see almost every day being a part of the plant employees.On all these occasions I always found her in her WHITE DRESS typical of a Nurse.

It just so happened one evening during a weekend I accidentally met her in a shop in Chembur(A Suburb of Bombay)and she was then wearing a saree with made up face and high heeled shoes and I could not recognise her.So when she smiled at me I thought she was smiling at someone else and so I did not return the smile.She obviously felt hurt and calling me by my name asked me whther or not I recognised her. Realising that it was not a case of mistaken identity and at the same time not being able to recognise her, I simply Said--"Ofcourse I do But what brought you here ?" So saying I took leave of her but could see her feelings hurt due to my not recognising her.

It took me nearly two hours or so after my leaving her that it dawned on me that she was no other than Sister Mary Of the factory dispensory.I could understand her disappointment in my not recognising her in the Chembur shop earlier.

The next day morning when I reached the factory ,I went straight to the dispensory where I saw her in her typical white dress.I went straight to her with an intention to apologise for the previous evening episode And greeted her with a large smile enquiring--"Good Morning Sister How are you?"
Not still recovered from the previous evening shock, She responded mechanically
saying "Good Morning But you did not recognise me last evening".
Only then I realised the degree of hurt I had caused her the previous evening by my not recognising her And instantly decided not to give any reason for the same as I thought it only will hurt her further.Instead I was prepared to tell even a lie if by doing so I could appease her.The subsequent conversation that took place was as follows----

Myself---"what do you mean sister,I did not recognise you?How can it be?When did we meet?
Sister----Last evening in the Chembur market.
Myself---You mean in the Chembur market?At what time was it ,Sister?
Sister-----Say Around Six in the evening.
Myself----But sister I was in Churchgate* (*the main city area)Then.Probably you met my brother and have mistaken him for me.

On my so saying I could immediately see the relief on her face and she said "oh I now understand why I was not recognised.You and Your brother look so alike".

Sister still probably believes that she met my brother.Where ever she may be today,if she happens to read this write up of mine I only wish to say "I am so sorry sister.I could not think of a better way then to appease you from the hurt I had caused you the other day".

To my other Readers,I only ask "If by one harmless lie,one can appease a person,is there anything wrong in saying so?And if it is not wrong why do we say "One Should Never Tell A Lie?


Narrated by---BAIYU

It'll be all fright on the flight

An Engineer ana a Politician are flying from NewYork to London,cruising at 35000feet,when BOOM,An explosion rocks the plane and everyone screams.Peering from the window,his face pale with fright, the politician sees a thick plume of smoke rushing from one of the engines.

The pilot's voice comes clearly over the tannoy:""Ladies and Gentleman,please don't worry,one of our engines has blown out.I know you are a little scared but it really isn't really a concern.We can easily complete our journey on the remaining three
engines.It'll just take a little longer than anticipated.We will arrive in London an hour later than scheduled."

The politician and the engineer look around nervously.

Two hours later and again BOOM,an explosion rocks the plane.The pilot's voice comes over the tannoy."It seems we have lost a second engine.I'am sorry for the inconvenience,but there is no need to worry,we can easily complete the journey on the remaining two.We will be arriving in London around three hours later than originally scheduled."

Rushing down the aisles the air stewardesses begin to hand out packets of peanuts to the shaken passengers.

A little later,the politician and the engineer are discussing the problems of air travel and global warming,when BOOM,another explosion rocks the plane.Both look to the window.

A rather nervous voice comes over the tannoy."I'm sorry,Ladies and Gentlemen, we have now lost the third engine.We will be around seven hours later than originally scheduled."

The politician checks his watch and then turns to the engineer:"God,I hope the last one doesn't blow out,we could be up here all night."


Compiled by---Baiyu Source:The Chemical Engineer (TCE) Journal OCTOBER 2007.

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HUMOUR ---TRI AS YOU MIGHT

Three engineers are in a car rushing at breakneck speed down a country road,when suddenly the driver realises he has no brakes.He slams his foot on the pedal but it's no use;the car can't be stopped.
The car hurtles around a blind corner,bursts through a fence,rushes headlong through a herd of cows and careers to a dramatic stop in a well placed haystack.
The three engineers,unhurt but shaken,crawl from the car to investigate what went wrong.
The first,a mechnical engineer,looks underbeath and sees that the brake line is burst.He says they ought to repair it and continue on their way.
At this,the second,a system engineer,sighs and says that the safest bet would be a full diagnostic check of the whole vehicle."It's the only way."
The third,a software engineer,laughs at both of them and says "Don't be silly,it is probably nothing to worry about.Let's go back in,restart the car and see if it happens again.

Compiled by BAIYU

Source--The Chemical Engineer (TCE)Journal October 2007